Air flights part 1

Why does booking an air flight remind me of the scene in Carry on Camping when Sid James and co arrive at Paradise Camp for their holiday. The conversation goes something like:

Are you members?

No

Well its £1 each to become members.

OK, heres £4, can we come in now.

No, you have to book in advance, but I may be able to let you in if you pay the booking fee.

How much?

£1 per tent. Ok heres the £2 now can we come in?

No, you have to pay rent.

How Much?

£1 per tent or per person, whichever is the greater No

Ok heres another £4, can we come in now?

Yes.

Sid then realises its not the nudist camp he was trying to find and goes for a refund.

Sorry sir no money is refundable.

Later still, after they put up a washing line between the tents.

I'm sorry sir there is a fee for putting up a washing line

How much?

£1 for 4

So thats 25p for one then?

No One is 37.5p, but you can put up four for a £1.

Booking a Flight to Alicante:

Cost of flight £30 - so two flights are £60
Will you want to come back -thats another £60

Ok so thats £120 to pay

Plus the airport taxes £71 out and £28 coming back.

So that s £219?

Are you taking bags? thats another £16 - £235 in total.

Plus the insurance of £24.

Ok heres £259 can I go now?

well theres the booking fee: £16

OK heres £275 now can I go?

Is that a credit card, only theres a credit card fee of £12, so thats £287 in total, thank you.

Oh and by the way, no money is refundable, but you can change names for £30 per passenger per flight, or you can change flights for £25 per passenger per flight.

Its just as well I have a kind sister living in Alicante to pick us up from the airport and provide accommodation for the week, thank you Sis.